Back again and with a guide to failure.

So, it appears that I’m here yet again. It saddens me to admit that my recent attempt of a ‘comeback’ failed miserably. It was a lousy piece of writing that lacked the Finn-ish substance that we have all come to know and love (nod, smile and act like you know what I’m talking about). Failure is never a nice thing to feel. Whether that be in education, work, relationships, friendships or the worst – and totally the best – giving into that 12″ Margherita pizza when your diet has been going so well; and when your closest heaven-like takeaway does a great ‘BOGOF’ offer, who can possibly say no? Unfortunately for most failures; the faster the drive, the harder the crash. It is important to remember that those horrible feelings in which failure brings – although intense – are only temporary. We must accept our mistakes and work from them.

From my own experience and the accounts of others, I believe that there are 6 different stages of failure:

Confusion

Sadness

Regret

Anger

Acceptance

and finally; motivation for something greater!

I, like so many others, do not believe that they are good enough. We already have failure in our heads and as a result we carry this through everything we do. I don’t see it happening at the time but it’s a more than reasonable answer for why I’m so bloody good at not putting in my 110%. I may mock my old drama teacher for her constant ramblings about ‘SFP’ – SELF FULFILLING PROPHECY, but for the most part, she was right. I mean, don’t get me wrong… if I believe that I’m going to turn into a Russian gymnastic potato, I doubt it will actually happen. But in terms of failure, it’s pretty effective to go into it with a positive outlook as hard as that may be.

And remember…

DO NOT COMPARE YOURSELF TO ANYONE ELSE. THIS IS YOUR JOURNEY. WHO EVEN DEFINES FAILURE? DO NOT ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE DEFINED BY YOUR COURSE, JOB, FRIENDS, PAST OR WHATEVER OTHER CRAPPY THING SOCIETY PROJECTS INTO OUR EXPECTATIONS OF LIFE. HAPPINESS IS THE KEY TO SUCCESS. PROJECT YOUR GREATEST VIBES OUT INTO THE WORLD AND THEY MIGHT JUST BOUNCE BACK!

For this was another pointless post by maraudingminds 🙂

The Comeback

I gave up on this blog a few months ago as it’s in my nature to only succeed at beginnings. However… Times are ‘a changing (HALLELUJAH) and it’s time for a comeback. I’ve been stuck the past few days on what to write and even whilst typing this now I’m still not sure on what is to follow. Having read back on previous posts for some sort of ‘Finspiration’™; I noticed that I never really went into a new post with anything set in stone. For me, writing is a way to express myself in a platform that speech prohibits. I’m not exactly an intelligent person – as a good friend of mine previously stated: “I know a little about a lot.”. – This does limit me from some in-depth conversations from time-to-time. However, we are in charge of our own front.

When I was a young boy I often questioned who I was; who I was meant to be and who I should never become. At the ripe old age of 18, I ask myself the same 3 questions.

Who is Finn?… Well I still don’t know the bloody answer. Not many of us do I suppose. I have a lot of paradoxical traits which lead me to confusion. An example of this would be introversion and extroversion. Most people are either an introvert or an extrovert, that just seems to be the way it is. However, I can identify with both. A hybrid of sorts. I can be in the thick of a crowd but still mentally observe from the sideline. I’ve touched on my confidence in previous posts and it is still a harrowing issue in my life. Do I really perceive myself in such a different way than others? In my mind this can’t be true. The worst part of low self-confidence is having a good day. It makes you question everything you thought you knew about your physical self. How can I go from feeling so disgusting and unloved to looking at myself and feeling like I’m not this hideous monster? One day I can look at myself topless and feel like a muffin fresh out of the oven; on another I can feel like I’m in completely different skin. Recently I have been determined to join the gym but I refuse to go alone on my first couple of visits. It sounds pathetic but I have created this mental block for myself and only a gym buddy can fix it. I know that I can do it though.

Who am I supposed to be? Well I’ve learned the answer to this and it’s very simple. I can only be myself – warts ‘n all (thankfully I have no warts). There’s no point trying to be something you’re not because your roots will only grow stronger and eventually while you’re trying to be this beautiful rose, your real inner flower will be like “Hey, wtf man… you’re not a rose. I am not letting this happen. Come back here young man or I’ll ground you!” (my inner flower is an angry old lady by the way).

Who should I never become? Anyone but myself because that’s just not healthy.

I’ve felt myself get very lazy as of late. Recently, someone has came into my life who has been helping me get through this. They encouraged me to start writing again and they have persisted that I eat healthily and join the gym. The nicest thing is that they only do this because they see what makes me unhappy. They see the potential I have and for a guy like me that’s something to cherish.

I hope to continue with this blog as it benefits me in many different ways. I have an interview next month for a writing course so hopefully this helps me prepare.

For this was another pointless post by maraudingminds.